Ethics jokes

Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.

A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"

"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?

Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

People: (arguing about stopping orphan jokes since they aren't funny).

Me: (m e h. i d o n t c a r e)

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.

You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.

Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.

It's not incest if you're adopted.

Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.

Religion crashes them.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to 10 trees.

This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.

He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.

An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"

What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!