Entertainment jokes

What does my uncle call a school?

A strip club.

Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent!

What do you call basketball for disabled people?

Rocket League?

Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?

SawCon deez nutz!

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?

What do you call dead?

(Not Michael Jackson)

How did Michael Jackson die?

Because he danced like a zombie!

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

If you play games, go play on your sister.

My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.

A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.

What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?

Magic Johnson.

What music scares balloons?

Pop music.

Why would the banana scream "ouch?"

Because it is getting peeled.

Why did the banana like the movie?

Because it was apeeling.

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.