Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
*walks in store* OH LITTle debhehe's!
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
I don't like Trump because he has ruined my kind's greatest man, Donald Duck.
Juice WRLD really died, then how is he posting videos today?
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
What’s a rapper’s favorite kind of SODA?
Dr. Dre Pepper.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
