Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
If you play games, go play on your sister.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
I watch sexy girls AMV and my pp goes up and down and up.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
