Emotion jokes

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

If gay means happy, then I'm extremely homophobic.

My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?

Me: Yeh, of course.

My Bff: Ok which one?

Me: You know... the black one.

Me: Like my soul...

My Bff: Jeez you ok?

How do you make a plumber cry?

Break his pipes...

Roses are red,

romance is dead,

every day I suffer from existential dread.

Why do orphans hate smart kids?

Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

Wanna hear a joke? Me.

I miss Gwen.

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

Why was the rapper always calm?

Because he had a lot of chill flows.

What's an emo's favorite part about being dunked?

The hangover.

I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.

Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!

I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.

This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...