Edition jokes
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
Why did one emo say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
Your mum's so fat, she's the iceberg that sunk the Titanic!
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Old man Jeffrey touches the youth.
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...