Edition jokes

POV: I made a blind joke.

"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

(Bully) Boy, you ugly!

(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.

There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."

Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.

I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.

I didn't want to interrupt her.

What was the Twin Towers favorite game? Jenga.

Smash or pass the Twin Towers?

Planes: Smash

I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.

Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."

What did Tennessee do?

The same thing Arkansas did.

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.

This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"

I replied, "I done it as a joke."

-April 1, 2020

(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!

I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).

What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?

The pussies are limited edition.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"