The 25+ Best Release Jokes

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

What’s the difference between jail and my basement?

Some people are let out of jail

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison

I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie It’s called finding chemo

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)

Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

Have you heard about the movie constipation?

No,Because It never came out...

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

the first ever picture of a black hole got released. it sucks,

♫Transgenders men in disguise♫....A xxx transformers parody coming soon to DVD

My friend is gonna release a air strike, there has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.

I wa finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve. Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie awhile ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID

none of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently

U can vent here idc

They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter. Apparently when the helicopter caught fire Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it”