Eating jokes
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!