Eating jokes
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
Daveon be eating Quaker Oats.
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.
Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and f**k off).
Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password
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"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
Three men are working on a building site.
Every day, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.
The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.
"By god," the man exclaims, "I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years, and every day, despite me telling her how much I despise it, my wife gives me a ham sandwich. If I get a ham sandwich in my lunch again, I will throw myself off the top of this building and kill myself."
The second man opens his lunchbox, revealing a cheese sandwich.
"Holy crow, another cheese sandwich! I hate these things, I tell you. Every day, I tell my wife how much I despise cheese sandwiches, but I still get them in my lunch. I’m with you buddy—if I ever get a cheese sandwich in my lunch again, I’m killing myself."
The third man, having opened his lunchbox, now pipes in.
"I don’t believe it—another tuna sandwich! If I had a penny for every time I’ve told my wife how much I hate these, I wouldn’t have to work on this sordid site no more! I’m sick of it—count me in, if I get a tuna sandwich in my lunchbox again, I’m killing myself."
The next day, the three men regroup at the top of the building and open their lunchboxes: the first man – a ham sandwich, the second – a cheese sandwich, the third – a tuna sandwich.
The three men exchange solemn looks before jumping in unison from the height of the building.
At the funeral for the three men, their grieving wives turn to each other.
"If only I’d known how much he didn’t like ham sandwiches," says the first man’s wife, "I always thought he was being ironic!"
"And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like cheese sandwiches," says the second man’s wife, "I always thought he was being sarcastic!"
"And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like tuna sandwiches," says the third man’s wife, "but I don’t know what good it would have done—the fool made his own lunch!"
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
Thomas Bulgin loves McDonald's dollars, A man of simple tastes, he hollers, With every visit, his heart does flutter, For golden arches, a fast food lover.
Those crispy fries, so perfectly fried, And burgers stacked, oh so high, The smell of grease, it fills the air, Thomas Bulgin, he'll always be there.
A dollar menu, his saving grace, A feast for him, a smile on his face, He counts his coins, with eager eyes, To savor each bite, a little prize.
In this world of fast-paced lives, Thomas Bulgin, he surely thrives, For in those golden arches, he finds, A moment of joy, that forever binds.
He cares not for gourmet cuisine, Nor fancy plates, fit for a queen, For in his heart, a simple truth, McDonald's dollars, his fountain of youth.
So let him eat, and let him feast, Thomas Bulgin, the fast food beast, For in those golden arches, he's found, A taste of happiness, unbound.