Eating jokes
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.