What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Eating Jokes
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
