Eating jokes
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
How do people eat bread?
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
Omnom.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I eat mop.
A-I eat mop who?
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.