Eating jokes
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
Why can't Asians play cricket?
Because they will eat the ball.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.