Eating

Eating jokes

Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!

Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."