Drive jokes
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
There are three Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
The cop!
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.