Drive Jokes

What's the difference between America and a flash drive? One is USA and the other is USB 😂😂😂

What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?

He can't drink and drive.

You know that if it says adopt a highway and no one does were driving on orphans

My friend: you ever feel like life is pointless *drives faster* Me: yea- My friend: if you could die with one person who would it be? *speeds up more* Me: H-hey you should slow down! slow down slow down! were about to-

Me dozing off while driving. Everyeone alse on the passanger plane September 11 2001

Why can't people with tourettes learn to drive?

Because they'll cause a car crash.

What car does Hitler drive?

A fuhrerri.

What’s one good thing about child Molesters? They drive slow in a school zone

Me: dozes off while driving. everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11

There’s Two Mexicans in a car Whose driving

A Cop

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.

IDK

When your driving past a graveyard say: wow people were just dying to get in there.

I took an uber home the other day, and the basterd was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said "who the fuck taught you to drive"... To this he replied "Stevie Wonder".

Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks "What's so magical about it?" the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.

The bartender shakes his head, and says.

"Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk superman.

A young innocent little girl is playing hopscotch and she says you step on a crack you brake you're mamas back and then she step on a crack so her mothers back proceeded to brake slowly then she said you step on a line you brake your dadas spine but the neighbours spine broke and in happiness the thought to be previouse father gets in his car and drive through the garage door...

My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building. So he had a much better flying record.

Little red riding hood has to deliver food to her gramma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her gramma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked liked her gramma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little red riding hood?

Answer:16