Australia jokes

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"

Two baked beans traveled around Australia.

They both ended up in Cairns.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?

Where is Australia?

Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.

What is the name of the bear capital?

Koala Lumpur.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

What is an orphan’s favorite beer?

Fosters.

What do you call a flying Aboriginal?

Boong 747.

I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.

Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.

You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.

You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."

In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.