Australia Jokes

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone"

public speaking is a more popular fear then snakes and you don't see anyone walking in australia and shout look out a podium

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

Two baked beans travelled around Australia.

They both ended up in Cairns.

Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!

You take a plane from Australia your mom is American your dad is British and. Your brother (and you) is Canadian (well because they traveled along many places) you are eating dinner but you realized you were going to europe. You went sleepy and you forgot your pet named “Strallia”. But she could not go anyways so you had to leave her. When you went to europe you were in the “COUNTRY-SIDE”

What is an orphan's favorite beer?

"Fosters."

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?

A Boomerang

What’s a downys favorite song? DOWN UNDER

What is an orphan’s favorite beer?

Fosters.

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf Official flag of Japan? The Sun Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol

Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.😂

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cook out?

A jump rope!

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How? They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colours!

If you mixed the iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad what would you get? Tony Abbott's career

Chris Hemsworth is Australian and Thor is from space does that make him an Australien

How do you get a koala to die ? Kill it