Australia Jokes

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

Two baked beans traveled around Australia.

They both ended up in Cairns.

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!

You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.

You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."

What is an orphan's favorite beer?

"Fosters."

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?

A Boomerang.

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.

Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.

Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.

Official flag of Japan? The Sun.

Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.

What is an orphan’s favorite beer?

Fosters.

What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.

Why was the Koala Bear so clever?

Because he had good koalifications!

Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.

Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?

They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?

A jump rope!

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.