Automobile jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
What is your car's name?
I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
What do you call a tire that is tired?
A tire, I guess. ❤️
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"
I'm racist.
I don't like green cars.
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.