Automobile jokes
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.