Automobile

Automobile Jokes

Self Harm

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

Shampoo

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.

Difference

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

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  • Seatbelt

    Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

    A. A seatbelt.

    Racecar

    If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".

    But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.

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  • Car

    A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.

    Mercedes

    What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?

    I don’t have a Mercedes.

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  • Gear

    The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.

    Friend

    My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

    Me: Yea-

    My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

    Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

    Tire

    What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

    One's a good year, and one's a great year.

    Car

    I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

    Racism

    What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.

    Basement

    What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.