Automobile jokes

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

Why is the tire so tired?

Because it is tired out.

You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?

Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toyoda.

A car alarm went to the store.

Cashier: Hello.

Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!

Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.

What is an orphan's favorite car?

A family car.

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.

I work at a tire shop.

I'm pretty tired.

Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!

What is the difference between a human being in the car?

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

What do we want? Racecar noises!

When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...

Why did the car fall asleep?

Because he was too tired.