Drive Jokes

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road? A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

After the drive by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.

Americans: we drive on the right side of the road

The British: we drive on the left side of the road

Russia: ROAD IS ROAD *crashing noises follow*

A girl called me ugly So I drove over her with a car and called her flat

KSI driving ability

Me:Have you seen a mr.weewoo Most people:no Me: he drives the ambulance down stairs

Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

Why can’t I drive? Cuz my dad never showed me how yet

1 2 3 4 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains, how many have you derailed this year

Me: Sorry boss, it’s hard to keep track

How did helen keller drive

One hand on the wheel one hand on the road

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, 'Parking Fine'

Mcdonalds has a drive through Twin towers has a fly through

It’s about drive it’s about power we stay hungry we devour , put in the work, put in hours and take what’s ours

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."