Dont jokes
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^