Dont jokes
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
Q: Knock, knock? Who’s there? A: Boo. A: Boo who? Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
Why are orphans lonely?
Because they don't have parents to talk to.
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
What is the similarity between Hitler and orphans?
They both don't have parents.
If you don’t know how to braid, hit that follow button, let’s gooo!
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
What's funny about sex? I don't get it.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.