Dont jokes

I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.

What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?

"Two wongs don’t make a white."

Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.

Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?

Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.

"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"

"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute!"

No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.

Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?

A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.