Dont jokes
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
I became anti-furry because I don't want Doom Slayer after me.
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
Don't free Britney!
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.