Dont jokes
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.