Dont jokes
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.