Dont jokes
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.