Dont jokes
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
"Pretend me please stop! I don't recall posting anything except commenting and posting something for Jordan C! Please stop!"
Don't crack this joke up!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!