Dont jokes

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

My uncle got really badly burned the other day.

They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.

Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

I don't like Roblox Adopt Me. It reminds me of my past.

Why do the French eat snails?

They don’t like fast food!

What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

Do you know why orphans don't have parents?

Because no one raised you.

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.