Dont jokes
I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.
The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
I became anti-furry because I don't want Doom Slayer after me.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.