Blame jokes
Don’t blame Bush; he is white. It couldn’t have been him.
What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?
Looks like I've only got myself to blame...
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!
Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
Kenya text: Guys, leave Gwen alone! Pls! It is not her fault...btw STOP AND GO TO ATHORE JOKES
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Gwen: Bastard, dummy, and is the dang ding one who started this, because of you Gwen I am now bullied! It's not the unknown will it is a lot but mostly you! AND ANNOYING YOU SHALL BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES YOU!
Best, Tenya!
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Dinkleberg!
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.