Dont jokes

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.

Why do orphans not like laptops?...

They don't have a homepage.

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.

I mess up goats for unicorns?

Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.

I don't even know.

Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

'Cause they just wash up onshore.

Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.

*also him*

Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?

Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.

Why don't you take emo skydiving?

They cut the rope.

I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.

Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.

Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

"What did we hit?"

"I don't know, a rock."