Dont jokes
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
When you when, the when at, when with you know, the you, you, that you ever, when... you dont know whats going on.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.