Dog jokes
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
Memes
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.