Dog jokes
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
What did the female dog say to the mirror?
Hi, bitch!
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!