Dog jokes
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
What is Uludağ made from? Dog pee!
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"