Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What did the dog say to the other dog?
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
