Dog jokes
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Memes
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
What did the female dog say to the mirror?
Hi, bitch!
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.