What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today
Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.
The weekly family zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.
So the father waited until he’d talked to his son and daughters, and asked if he could talk to his wife alone.
“Look, I know you and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?”
She started crying. "No, Tommy's the father! I'm so sorry, I never meant for it to happen, but it's been so lonely here without you....I walked in on him jerking off and just couldn't help myself! And Annie's been missing her boyfriend at college, and it....it just sort of got out of hand."
"It's okay sweetheart, I forgive you. You've been isolated for months, up there."
She wiped her tears away. "I can't believe how understanding you're being about this. When we get home I'm making you the best steak and lobster you ever had! I know you aren't eating well, I was looking at the bills on Amazon Prime and saw you ordered a 45 pound pail of peanut butter!"
He looked down under the camera line, under his desk. He wasn't wearing pants and the family dog was still licking his dick. "These things happen."
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher informatio-
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their teachers to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animale shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw there parents in a diffrent race!
Students: No that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?" "Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist so I mounted up and screwed her senseless." "Oh, so you're here to get neutered?" "Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
Dog the dog and maggie were frightened of her and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor jokes and maggie was walking i was going to off the road to the city hall to see her and her and I said that the only one piece dress for women readymade rb collection as he was walking in the city and maggie was a little bit more on the side of it
ok guys quick update, what is going on with freshfry, Drew, and ALYA? all there doing is fighting and I want to put an end to it. So freshfry, Drew and ALYA all need to read this ok. First freshfry you should of just said ok the first thing he said, and Drew... really? you had to keep egging him on. I don't know about ALYA but its like cats and dogs fighting. Just pls stop fighting:(
3 boy chiwawa were hot about this girl chiwawa. She tells them I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence. First dog say... I love cheese but liver is bland. She replay.. Really original. Next dog.. I love liver but chesse makes me constipated.. She replay.. Ewe gross. Third dog steps up.. Man Liver alone cheese mine. Winner dog 3.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect it's balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
