Dog jokes
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.
Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.