Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
i saw a man trying to rape a dog, i decided to help, the dog cant stand a chance against the both of us
What is a dog 🐕.? An animal 🦓
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
What was hellen kellers dogs name
Durrrrrrrr
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
