Dog jokes
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?
To the retail store.
Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.
Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.
Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
Good being
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
add me in Roblox wholetthedogsoutyou1 lol who let the dogs out you you you you you?
What do you call an Asian k9? E10
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.