Dog jokes

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

Dog: Woof!

Butcher: Say less.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Why didn't the dog want to play football??

'Cause he was a boxer!

What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?

It’s a bumper team.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.

Because we couldn't afford a dog.

Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?

Ling Ling: Truth.

Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?

Ling Ling: Dare.

Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.

Squirrel: I got a joke.

Dog: What the hell is it?

Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.

Why did the dog cross the road?

It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

What did the dog say to the other dog?

Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?

To the retail store.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.