Tail jokes
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover his butt-quack.
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
What has a tail, a head, but no body?
A coin.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.
Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.
Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.
What has a head and tail but no legs?
A penny.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!