A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
Why dose a duck have tail feathers? To cover his butt-quack
Whatβs the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tailβitβll be delighted!
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit."
Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid
A cat gets its tail run over, and itβs mother assured him itβll be okay. βYou just have to stay PAW-sitive!β
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, βYou have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!β
Guess who dies next.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing Pin the tail on the donkey? Her friends arenβt sure whether to blindfold her.
If a cat hits you with her tail is it considered being pussy whipped?
A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tailβit'll be delighted!
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails
Whatβs the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags itβs tail, and the other TAGS A WHALE!
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them. "Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...
About a dog
How to become a monkey
Put a red dot on your forehead
What has a head and tail but no legs? A penny
