Disease jokes
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there, the doctor asks him, "Do you have cancer?" Pinocchio replies, "That was very straight up, but no, I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer." After saying this, his nose grew.
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.
Like if you're not a gay.
Dislike if you're furry.
Repost if you HATE blacks.
Comment for VBUCKS.
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The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.