Disease jokes

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?

..... She had cancer.... ;)

Two cows are standing in a field.

Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?

Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.

Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.

Dad: What's boofa?

Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.

What is a lot?

Syphilis.

Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.

How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?

Because of the Corona Virus.

Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).

What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?

"Rust in pieces!"

Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.

I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.

She literally died a crazy bitch.

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Neither does he.

He's fat!

What do you say to your partner with diabetes?

Hey, sugar!

"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."

You know who else has dementia?

Comments for answer.

My grandpa died to ligma.

Ligma balls lol.

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.

Q: Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone?

A: He has turrets.

So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.

A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."

"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"

Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"

The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."

"What the FU***** SH**"

Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.