Disabled jokes
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Most pakis are disabled.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
Cunt.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.