Disabled jokes
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Susie.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?
A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?
A physically disabled heterosexual male.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.