Disabled

Disabled jokes

Kid

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Sally

Why did Sally fall off the swings?

She had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

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  • Man

    Disabled man stands up.

    Blind man: “You can stand?”

    Deaf man: “You can see?”

    Mute man: “You can hear?”

    Disabled man: “You can talk?”

    Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”

    Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”

    Assumption

    Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”

    Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”

    Guy

    One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"

    Thriller

    I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

    Dad

    My disabled dad went to the grocery store.

    He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.

    Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.

    Career

    If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

    Tony Abbott's career.

    Priest

    What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

    5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

    5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.