What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Disabled Jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Dick.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
