Disabled jokes
What's bald and can't grow no hair?
A kid with cancer.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
Sans