Disabled jokes
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Can disabled enable dark mode?
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.
Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.
And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?
Because he had no legs.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"