Disabled jokes
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
Which is more disabling, autism, ADHD, or Down syndrome?
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What do you call a washed vegetable? A disabled kid that needs a towel.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Joke.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.