What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
Lean.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
Rabbit poop is cereal.
Bean.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
