Diet jokes
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
I'm not fat!!
I'm a Nutritional Overachiever.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.