Die jokes
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Me die.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.