Die jokes
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.
Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
You fighting? More like you're dying!
Me die.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^