Die jokes
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
Can I die?
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.