Die jokes

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Time for a random Terraria joke.

Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

I’m going to be scared of diesel.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!

Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)

How did Steven Hawking die?

He blew a fuse doing an update.

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.