Die jokes
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.
I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.