Die jokes

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Of a bad internet connection.

Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Time for a random Terraria joke.

Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!

My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.

Kobe never died, he just faded away.

Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.