Dick jokes
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
"Dick me down shorts."
Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!
Lol, dick, I'm the dick and duck.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
Huh what you say?
Come fight me, suck a dick.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!