Dick

Dick jokes

Boy

    • Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

    Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

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    • Rape

    • How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

    By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

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    • Bubba

    • A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

    Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

    The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

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    • Dick memes

    Divorce

    • So this is how I got divorced.

    On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

    Sister

    • How do you know if your sister's on her period?

    Your dad's dick tastes funny.

    What's worse than fingering your sister?

    Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

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    • Booty

    • Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?

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    • Time

    • One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

    Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

    Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

    So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

    And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

    Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

    I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

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    • Man

    • What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.

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