Dick jokes
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If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
Did you know that big black dicks can be weapons and can kill people?
Floyd Mayweather proved it when he gave it to Logan Paul in the ass.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
My name is Big Dick.
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."