Dick jokes

Baby

12 views · Fruitcake · 8 years ago

What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

My dick while I'm doing it.

Insult

2 views · Anonymous · 7 years ago

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

Timmy

55 views · Hoe101 · 6 years ago

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

Cockroach

15 views · Anonymous · 6 years ago

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Bleach

16 views · Kayotic · 6 years ago

How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?

Pour bleach on it.

Mom

20 views · tensebot501 · 2 years ago

dick

The image shows two panels comparing angry mothers in anime and real life. The top panel has an anime woman with big eyes and a slightly pouty face. The bottom panel shows two real women, one behind the other, swinging a very large sword-like object. The text on the image says, "Angry moms in anime:" above the first panel and, "Angry moms in real life:" above the second panel.

Dick memes

Guy

40 views · Anonymous · 7 years ago

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

Question

1 view · Christopher · 7 years ago

Question: Do you know who Candis is?

Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?

Shotgun

11 views · FunnyDudeEthan · 7 years ago

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.

Teeny

3 views · Anonymous · 6 years ago

Lol, I have a teeny black dick.

Snake

8 views · Bread 🍞 · 5 years ago

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

Stick

2 views · Anonymous · 6 years ago

What's the smallest stick in the world?

Your man's dick.

People

150 views · Mark · 4 years ago

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!