Dick jokes
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
"(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP: TEENY DICK
BUMP: TINY TIT
GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP: AN ASS
DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."
If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.