Dick jokes
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
I LOVE BIG HAIRY DICKS!
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.
Snapchat: @colin_green21
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!