Dick jokes
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"
And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"
Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."
The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."
Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"
Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."
Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...
THE END
I eat dick.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.