Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dick Jokes
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"
And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"
Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."
The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."
Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"
Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."
Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...
THE END
I eat dick.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
Lol, I have a teeny black dick.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
