I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Youβve got something on your face. Wait, no, itβs just missing something. My dick.
Are you a raisin? Because youβre raisin' my dick.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Wait, this is the category "dick." Sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
Only Dick Rapeboat got is his rhyming dictionary.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
