Dick jokes
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.