Di

Di jokes

Rose

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

Tomato

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

Grandpa

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

Overdose

Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn't close the casket.

Memes

Hairline

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

Giraffe

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Murder

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Hand Grenade

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

Plane

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

Orphan

An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.