Di jokes

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn't close the casket.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Depression: Here, your mom just died.

Me: My mom is already dead.

Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

I want to di... dive! Yeah!

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

What does Diana stand for?

Died In A Nasty Accident.

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

Sayori: *dies*

Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"

MC: "😨"

Why did Princess Di cross the road?

Momentum.

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.