Divide jokes
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
Memes
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
What is 8 divided by 2?
Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Why are lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go