What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
Evan
whos the world fastest readers? 9/11 victims.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
What do christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
What do you call a flat chested depressed person? A cutting board.
