Depression jokes
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
Me :D
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
Depression :)
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Me- *crying in the shower*
Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.