Depression jokes

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

Evan

Who's the world's fastest readers?

9/11 victims.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

They both hang from a tree!

What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?

Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.

Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.

What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?