Depression jokes
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.
I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.
My day started out great until I woke up.
If I die, delete my search history.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.