Death jokes

A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"

One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."

A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"

"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.

If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".

But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.

Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?

Suicide squad. 😂😂😂

What's white and bloody?

Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.

Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?

In hope to find a mummy.

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.