Death jokes
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
The orphan: why don't my parents love me? Me: because you don't have any.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
Memes
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”
I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.