Death jokes
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.