Death jokes
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.