Death jokes
The orphan: why don't my parents love me? Me: because you don't have any.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
Memes
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?