Death jokes
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.